Some of you may know that I recently purchased a 4×4 2000 Isuzu Rodeo LS just prior to moving to Kansas City. I knew that I was moving to KC right after I got it, so I called both the Riley and Johnson County Treasurers offices. I figured I’d register and get tags for it in whichever county was cheapest. Seems smart right?

The Johnson County office quoted me a much cheaper price, so I decided to go there. Happily, the office is just off of Santa Fe, though down a little ways from my house, it’s really not that far from me in Kansas City terms of distance at least.

When I get there, there is absolutely no parking. Bah. So drive around for a bit until I find a side street. I go in and walk around like a blind kid in a game of tag. Finally I find the office. There is one guy in there before me. He’s paying about two grand in delinquent taxes. Relevance to this story? None. I’m just trying to paint a picture. Or something. Finally this guy gets done, seemingly after twenty minutes, but probably more like half that. I get up to the lady at the counter and I explain that I just bought a new car and I need to register and tag it. Her response is that they don’t do that there, I need to go to the DMV office, which is on Ridgeview and Santa Fe. First actually point of anger/frustration is right here in the time line. I called these people on the phone already and got the address, phone number, and a price quote for what it would cost me. You would think they would mention that I don’t actually go there to do it, though. Nope.

Thankfully, the DMV office is right down the road about three minutes. Ok. The desk lady told me something about behind a Quicktrip on the corner. Aiight, I see it, turn right. Ooooh, as sign that reads “Johnson County Department of Motor Vehicles ->”. Wait, which way is that arrow pointing? Is it down this road more? Is it down this backstreet-looking road? Is it this car was right here? After driving to all of these conceivable places, I then realize that the DMV is not located at any of them. So, pull into the Quicktrip parking lot and make a phone call to the Treasurers office again. For reference, my inability to locate this place would be frustration point number dos. Yes, I just dropped some Spanish. What up? Vato.

I’m on hold forever. And by “forever,” I mean about seven minutes. Frustration point number three. I decide to go drive around whilst still being on hold, right as I am about to pull out of the parking lot someone on the other end picks up. Convenient. So I ask exactly where their located and she says some address or something (I wasn’t really listening. You’d think I would have been, but no. I wasn’t. Meh). I pick up “behind Quicktrip and Waffle House.” Close enough, I’ll wing it.

I Drive around the Quicktrip and it’s tucked away in the corner of this strip mall. Who-woulda-thunk? Obviously not me.

Upon entering the premises, I realize that there are about two and a half tons of people in here. Literally. Roughly estimate about 200 pounds per person. Divide it up. Roughly twenty five people. Perhaps there could have been as much as three and a half tons of people. Really, it’s a tough call. They have a little “press this button, get a number” machine. I press and find a seat. As images of stereotypical descriptions of DMV’s flash through my head, I realize this is frustration point number four.

I break out the cell phone for some Bejeweled action while I wait. Eventually, I get called and go talk to this guy at booth number one. He looks over my stuff, signs my number, and informs me that they will call my number again. Damn it. I thought I was close to being done. Nope. More damn waiting. Flash forward another ten minutes and my number gets called again.

This time I’m at booth number four. I explain to Deloris that I just bought a new car and I need to get registered and tags for it. I present her my title and registration, just like the first guy. She’s typing away on her keyboard, entering stuff into her computer, looking up stuff. I notice that she has long fingernails and I wonder how easy it is to type. Again, random. Oh, she also looks at her fingers when she types. Anyways. While standing there, I realize that I’m without my checkbook. Crap. I then start thinking that I may have to leave and come back with it. A task I obviously don’t want to partake in.

Deloris asks me some information about where I purchased the car, such as the name of the company and the city and county of the business. I say it’s in Manhattan. Either in Riley or Pottawatomie county. I’m not sure, it’s right over the Big Blue River, which I think is the dividing line of the county, but I’m not 100% sure. She’s the one with the computer, she should be able to figure it out. Not really. She has to go look at something. I don’t know what, I couldn’t see. She then asks me if I wanted to renew the tag until 2006. Otherwise I would have to come back to this horrible place next month. I gladly accept paying for the next year.

She then explains that I have to be charged for the differences in sales tax between Pottawatomie (thus was my deduction at least) and Johnson counties on the Rodeo. The money-grubbing state of Kansas will charge you whichever sales tax is highest, regardless of where you bought it. The guy who sold me the car failed to mention that. I payed the sales tax right there when I bought it, just to avoid this. He mentioned something to the effect of “You can pay this sales tax now, so that when James goes to get his tags, he won’t have to pay it then.” I now realize why he would say such a thing. Pottawatomie county has like six percent sales tax, versus the seven and a half here in Johnson county. It makes the price of the car seem less than what you actually have to end up paying for it.

Then, the bombshell, how much it’s going to cost me: roughly $450 bucks. Daaaaaamn.

I came here expecting maybe $20 – $30 bucks, based off of the original phone call I made to the Treasurer’s office. Nope. Again thinking about my absent checkbook, I wondered what I was going to do. She said I could pay with my Discover card, but I don’t remember how much I have left on it before my limit. I know I had used it a few times before, but I don’t really remember how much I put on it. I tell her to run it anyways, if it gets declined, then I know it would put me over my limit. Thus necessitating me to go to an ATM nearby.

By the grace of God it goes through. I sign the receipt and depressingly leave. As I leave I realize it’s almost 1:30pm. This whole ordeal took almost an hour and half. Frustration point number, well, whatever it is.

Oh, and guess what the three numerical digits of my license plate are? 666. Sign of the devil.

When I saw that, I kind of chuckled to myself. I mentioned it to Deloris. She asked if I wanted to change it. I said, “Nah, it will be easier to remember.” Her response: “You’re not a Christian, are you?” No ma’am, I’m not. Doesn’t really bother me.

It’s over!

5 Responses to “The DMV, JoCo Style”

  1. Becky Says:

    That sucks.

  2. Kimberly Says:

    450.00 to register a car? And I thought 55.00 a year was bad…. You need to move to Wisconsin………..

  3. none Says:

    Stumbled my way here from a google search and decided to read on. . .

    This blog is full of BS., because 151st and Ridgeview is the location for DL only. This appears to have been your first stopping point. Which leads to additional BS factor. How could the guy be paying two grand in delinquent taxes if your first incorrect stop was the DL bureau and not the DMV? The guy ahead of you was paying 2k in a driver license office?

    1839 Ridgeview is the title and tag office located behind QT and Waffle House on Santa Fe. That means you would of had to drive back north and west across I-35 on Santa Fe to see those signs at the intersection by Quiktrip.

    Especially if you are driving West from I-35 the signs are pointing to your LEFT (South) not RIGHT. Which means you probably passed it, pulled a typical JO countian intersection U-turn and only then, was the sign pointing to your right.
    You have the KU B.S. degree and yet, can’t find your way and blame an office for your blindness. So instead, twist the facts to babble about crossed phone numbers,addresses, and road signs. Apparently the DMV and DL bureau conspired against you, and temporarily swapped phone numbers that day in an attempt to confuse you. This is why I call the BS factor and find it compelling enough to give a fact based reply. You became frustrated at others and interrupted someone for assistance because several times you stated you weren’t listening and paying attention. Here’s the DMV page so you won’t get “lost” again. . .

  4. James Says:

    Let me summarize my response:
    You are wrong.

    Let me explain why:
    First, my initial stop was the Treasurer’s Office. This is where the majority of the counties in Kansas handle their tags and registration business – not the DMV. With me so far? So I went here first. On your link you have posted, it would be the first on the list. You will also note that the address of the Treasurer’s Office is on 111 S. Cherry Street. The Treasurer’s office is also where people pay delinquent taxes on property, also. I never said he was at the Driver’s License office.

    For that matter the “Driver’s License Office” is just where people do their driver’s license exams. This location is at 1839 Ridgeview. This is not the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). That is located, as you can read from your link is at 1327A East Santa Fe.

    Second, considering the location of the Treasurer’s Office is to the West of the DMV, just off of Santa Fe, I would have had to travel East along Santa Fe – as I say I did – to get to the DMV.

    Third, if anything your “fact based” reply is wrong. You obviously didn’t care to pay attention to what I was saying in my post, otherwise you would have gotten your facts straight. In addendum, you don’t even know the correct address of the DMV yourself. And lastly, I don’t go to KU, fool, I go to K-State. A person such as yourself – who gets his facts straight all the time – would know that.

    Thanks again for looking like an idiot. Also, the next time you’re going to write such a condescending retort to one of my posts, perhaps you should grow a pair and leave your name and email.

  5. Ashley Says:

    Lol. Haven’t been on your site for a while, but ran across this blog or whatever you kids call these things now days.. Anyways, I found it just as entertaining as I remember the first time I heard it. Don’t you love KC? Damn DMV, I waited for an hour cuz someone stole my little ’07 sticker. An hour! For one little sticker!! I shoulda just stole someone elses, saved me the time.

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